TMI Tuesday: Cum, are you a fan?

Cum, are you a fan?

1. We are all incurable sex addicts, but name one thing—a job, a passion, a creative outlet, a collection—of yours you use as a replacement, a distraction from constantly thinking about sex 24/7.

Things that distract me from thinking about sex: my family, facebook, reading anybody's posts about their kids.

2. Have you ever loved somebody so much you thought having sex with them would actually sully the pristine purity of that love?

Yes. I have a close friend I really care about and we've flirted, but he's married (not an open marriage) and we both respect each other and his relationship too much for sex to be an option between us.

3. If you could make love to yourself, would you? Describe this experience in full detail.

That's an interesting question... I think I have a hard time appreciating my good qualities as much as my close friends and lovers have, so even if I could make love to myself it probably wouldn't be as meaningful as someone else making love to me. That said, sometimes it would be really nice to get the full physical experience of making love without the complications of being involved with someone else.

4. Cum, are you a fan? Explain and expound.

Cum is good.

5. Does it creep you out to know that God is watching you as you’re fucking?  

God created sex, so why shouldn't I enjoy it? Also I'm a bit of an exhibitionist, so I don't mind the idea of being watched, though I've never thought much about God watching.

Bonus: Tell us something sexy that happened to you this week.

I went to a sex toy party this weekend, and tried out the pvc bondage tape on someone I just met.

Please check out the TMI Tuesday blog and play along.

TMI Tuesday: Pain and Pleasure

I know it's not Tuesday, but I found this list of questions and thought it'd be fun to play along.

1. Which do you enjoy more in bed, pain or pleasure?

Definitely pleasure. Not that some biting and such can't be both, but I don't get off on being really hurt. And my tolerance for pain tends to be low.

2. Do you like being tickled during sex? Where?

I'm incredibly ticklish and have a love/hate relationship with being tickled. I have to really trust someone to let them tickle me and even then it easily becomes too much. Tickling tends to put me in a different frame of mind than sex though, so haven't really tried putting them together.

3. Have you ever used feathers during sex?

I've had feathers used on me as foreplay.

4. Do you like to be blindfolded during sex? Why?

Not really. I like more control than that. Sometimes I like to close my eyes with someone I trust, but most of the time I like to see what's happening.

5. Have you ever used cold or heat as part of your sex play? What provided the cold or heat?

I've played with ice cubes, though it's not usually one of my favorite things. I love when a guy has really warm hands and puts them on me, and I think I'd enjoy more playing with heat.

6. Do you enjoy being spanked, giving spankings, or both?

An occasional light spanking I can enjoy, but my pain tolerance tends to be low and I've found I can't really enjoy more than a smack or two at a time. As far as giving spankings, when I've tried I've usually hurt my hand before getting a reaction from the person I'm with.

7. Do you have a safeword? Have you ever used it?

I've had safewords in the past and occasionally used them. I'm not currently in a relationship to need one, so right now I don't have a safeword.


Bonus: Tell us in 3-4 sentences the most painful or pleasurable sexual experience you have had.

It's hard to pick one experience to tell about. A lot of my best sexual experiences I don't even remember details of so much as just feeling really incredibly good and being left in a happy fog of post orgasm goodness.


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Check out the TMI Tuesday blog for more fun and instructions for particiapting on your own blog.

Control

I was fairly young the first time I read an explicit sex scene. The book was a retelling of a celtic folktale and probably a good inch and a half thick. I wasn't expecting there to be sex in it when I picked it up, in fact I was rather naive at the time and I don't think it had even occurred to me that you could get books with that kind of graphic sex scene from the library.

I was enthralled by the description of the book, and, though it was in the young-adult/teen section and most of what I read at the time was still from the outer wall of the children's room, I began reading it immediately. There were seven brothers in the story who were cursed and turned into swans. Their sister was the only one who could save them, but in order to do so she could not talk until she had made them each a sweater from nettles and they wore the sweaters. She retreated to the woods and worked with determination to save them.

While she was in the woods a group of men found her and raped her. She couldn't scream or tell them to stop because that would mean her brothers would stay swans forever. Since she didn't scream the men said she was a nymph and must like it. Though it was only a small part of the book, the scene was described in vivid detail. I was both horrified and fascinated by the written image. It made me sick to think of grown men pinning down and raping a girl without even a scream to defend herself, but at the same time I was in general curious about sex and had never read anything so vividly descriptive. I wanted to know exactly what it meant when one of the men was described as being bigger than the others and too big for her, but I was embarrassed by my own curiosity.

I didn't even talk to anyone about having read a sex scene, let alone a rape scene. Though I don't remember much else about the story, I do remember the book was well written and aside from shocking me with that scene it was a good book, but I didn't even tell anyone it was a good book. I was too embarrassed to admit I had read a detailed sex scene, especially it being a rape, and I found myself guarding the book protectively against any interest my younger sister might show in it. If I told anyone the book as a whole was good they might read it and then they'd know what I'd read in it.

I'm not quite as naive as I was then, but I've found since then that I have quite a few control issues when it comes to sex. I'm intrigued by dom/sub roles and violent erotica, but unless the woman is ultimately the one in control I often have a hard time really enjoying stories that play off those roles. In my own writing I tend to find it easier to write scenes where the man is leading the action, but I find it very difficult to take it beyond a certain point with the man in control.

Even in my own encounters, I find myself initiating things that I don't even know whether I want, just so that I can be the one in control. The more I try to write my own erotica, the more I realize that's not such a healthy way to look at "control," but I expect as I continue writing I'll continue to explore different types of sexual relationship and control.

Tonight is the night

Tonight is the night.

I've been waiting,
...and wanting,
it's finally here,
...almost.

With eager,
nervous,
energy,
I anticipate the night.

Dress my best,
in silky red,
over black lace,
over soft clean skin.

I smooth my hair,
slick on lip gloss,
smile at the mirror,
and wait.

Tonight's the night,
I eagerly wait,
to give him my all,
to embrace the intimacy,
to feel him inside me,
to experience him.



Prompt from A Writer's Book of Days Dec. 31:
In anticipation of the night.